Stripling Warriors, "Mama's Boys"

Garrett and his friends from church have been sending each other Book of Mormon - like writing. I thought it was really funny, so I'm sending you a sample. The friends written about are DJ, Matt, Seth, Michael, Lauren, & Madison - oh yes and Tony, an "emo" friend.
Oh yes - our ward is the "White Oak" ward.

The First book of Garylarrypumpkinberry
Chapter 1

1 I, Garylarrypumpkinberry being of the clan of Jefferies, the son of the King of White Oak and the land round about, and being the sibling of the daughters of Rhettmel do write this account in earnest.

2 And now I start with one, Mattharious. I being exceedingly wroth from being sent to the front of the battle did commence to pursue Mattharious insomuch that he did flee from my presence.

3 And he, being of the cross country combination was gifted with swiftness of foot and much speed, did escape into the wilderness.

4 Now I being exceedingly buff and large in stature could not keep up with this intruder and spared his life.

5. But he continued to use the secret combinations of Meth Hazelsen and laid eyes upon mine own sibling Madisonian.

6. And Madisonian, who was exceedingly fair and being frightened by the combination of stalking even that same combination used by Sethiha, did construct a bow made of fine metal and shot it even through the heart of Mattharious.

7. Now I commence with Mikelonigiodiha and Djdidoniha. They being very large and buff in stature like unto myself, were on the third and fourth lines of that very same battle against the emonians led by Tonyanton.

8. And the emonians did fight like dragons with their purple pants that were tight like unto a dish. Nevertheless the White oakians did prevail for they had the armor of god girded about their loins.

9. And now Laurenanton, being exceedingly gifted in the ways of harm of words, did stir up Sethiha and I to great anger insomuch that we did make an end of her ways.

10. For she did spread false witnesses saying that I, Garylarrypumpkinberry had made her weep several times.

11. And Sethiha, being drawn to the program of Guitar Hero 2, did commence to complete an important task to overcome Trogdor on the level of hard. He working diligently, even with his own hands did complete this task and saw importance in life and did walk in the ways of emo no more.

12. And thus ended the month of February on the day of twenty and eight.