This morning at 7 a.m. Madison and I went to the high school and traded in her 40 hours of driving log for a PDL - 90, a 90 day temporary license until she will appear in court to receive her actual license - this is a requirement in our state - scare the begeebies out of the teenagers and make it really hard to get their license. Her friend Patrick is still working on his! A tough, weather beaten female drivers ed teacher gave the license to me, and then I handed it over to Madison with little fanfare. I was thinking... is she ready for this? She gleefully offered to help me today, and she really did. She took Garrett to Seth (ie: Steven Speidelberg's) home because they are making a movie. She then drove to Little Ceasers to thoughtfully ask if anyone needed her to get some dinner for them (nobody wants pizza), and went to a Subway run, then took the girls to swimteam (with me). She won't be getting her own car for a few years, and the van isn't cool, but it's what we have, and the other car is a stick shift, which she hasn't learned on yet.
Sunday night we gave Madison the "dating and purity" fireside, which made John Bytheway sound dull! Rhett and I were in perfect sync- the spirit was strong. We have put up guidelines and rules that will hopefully allow her to have a great summer without getting "too serious" with her boyfriend. With all these guidelines in place, it is time to trust - not blindly, but to allow the teachings that we have taught for so long to hopefully start working in her life, and that she will make good choices.
Garrett is also going to Philmont - getting on a plane, flying out to meet some scouts, and going with a friend for a week. Garrett is responsible and is a "rock", so I'm sure he'll be fine, but again, it's kind of that letting go process. Both Madison and Garrett have decided to quit band this year. We tried to get them to keep it up - they have done so well, but nothing would persuade them. Again - to force or to let them choose? Madison made chamber singers, and Garrett is taking some technical electives.
One of Madison's best friend's is graduating tomorrow from high school. She is only seventeen, and is going to BYU summer semester. Her family have been our best friends here, and they are moving to Minnesota. We are hosting a party for all of them on Saturday, since their house is packed and they are almost out of here. I really do love this family, and will sorely miss them. I have to let go, but it is so hard - I'm still not used to this moving thing! I guess though this blog is meandering, it has a theme. I am still so glad to have the three "littles" that still need me all the time, where choices are fewer and mom's word still goes. And little Cecily who is still dependent on me for everything - believe it or not, it's good to have her when all this change is going on! I do feel like my prayers have been deeper, and I've been giving a lot more over to the Lord - asking him to watch over or care for, or guide me when I don't know what to do!
A big storm is coming... I can hear the thunder and lightning. It's time to shut down the computer before it becomes toast!
5 comments:
You are such a sweet, loving mom and are at one of the hardest crossroads!! It sounds like you are handling things as well as you can--letting go and trusting, are toughies!! You have great kids and the Lord will bless them as they start making those important decisions based on the wonderful teachings of the gospel and their parents that they have been learning their whole lives! Do hang on to those little ones as long as possible--they grow up way too fast.
Believe it or not, as scary as it is to have them get their driver's license, it is extremely helpful and you will be so happy to have the help (even if it's just driving herself to her own stuff). I remember praying extra hard every time they got into the car and then several times while they were gone. It's always such a relief when they pull in the driveway and come in the door safe and sound!!
Hang in there. You are doing great.
love,
Susan
That was another terrific blog, Melecia! The "Moore ADHD" is easy to follow. Do you suppose that's true for little me too?
Your description of Madison reminds me when we had our "talks about THE subject." It's fun as a parent to watch your adult child go through the same things we did as teenagers. Building trust takes time, letting go, and the child being trustworthy. We've had times we were disappointed in kids violating trust, but each experience has brought lessons well learned.
I'm big on being strict about having cars and the use of cars. Susan is right. They eventually become quite helpful when they help out with younger sibs and do errands for you. Sometimes it's really hard to let go.
Having three babies is soothing. We only have one left, and putting the brick on her head to keep her from growing bigger doesn't work. We have a lot of "youngest child" in our family that never seems to fully go away. What a blessing all of you are. Thanks again for sharing. xo, Dad
I will have to take notes from you some time because you really seem like you have things together with your kids, it must be hard but cool too to watch them grow up, you guys are cool for trusting them, too many parents won't ever do that. I have been lucky to have been trusted a lot in my youth and it has really helped me to develop into who I am.
I can't remember if you or Joel wrecked your car. Wait, I do remember when Joel fell asleep at the wheel and hit a reflector pole on the side of the road. In an attempt to back out the garage, Paul put it in drive and took out the freezer. Steve forgot to put the emergency brake on at the top of Cherokee - the car rolled down the hill and through the neighbor's garage. I back ended a guy that had just got out of heart surgery. I think Dad still bans me from driving his car in Colorado. Don't worry though... I'm sure Madison will drive much better. Teenage girls are supposedly better drivers than teenage boys.
I'm excited for Garret's Philmont thing. I loved it when I went there. We hiked about 6-8 miles per day, and it was the coolest outdoor experience. The ranch is HUGE and the wildlife was so tame that the deer would literally come right up to you. The animals had no fear of people, because no animal (even the rattlesnakes) could be harmed.
Having my kids grow up scares me. Since you'll be the professional by the time they get there we will be asking for lots of advice.
You definately have good kids. I don't know what you did to get them that way but they seem to have their heads on straight and that is what matters the very most.
Great job to both you and Rhett!
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